Author Guest Post - Commander Pants (& a Giveaway - closed)

CONGRATS TO LUCKY WINNER – SUE!

   

Readers, today I’m pleased to welcome a guest author who goes by the pseudonym Commander Pants! No, I’m not kidding, that truly is the nom de plume of this author whose real name even I don’t know. This author has written a book, Whom God Would Destroy that has been called, among other things: “…a sniggeringly hilarious meander through some cunning plot twists and awhole new understanding of the universe as it is.”, “…The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Psyche, with an extra helping of blasphemy.” , “…a velvet hammer disguised as a satirical storyline.” and more!

I can almost guarantee you’ll be laughing and wanting to pick up a copy of this book by the end of this guest post!

I pondered long and hard before giving up the name that my parents had so lovingly bestowed upon me to become Commander Pants. For months preceding that momentous day I had busied myself trying on different names, discarding them each for one reason or another. This one made me look fat. That one itched. (I won’t tell you any of these rejected names, however I will admit that they all richly deserved to be euthanized.)

At long last the day arrived when I hit the “send” button and ordered my new name. After three sleepless nights the UPS man pulled into my driveway. Grabbing the package, I raced for the nearest mirror to see how it fit. In retrospect, I do wonder how many of the troubles I soon encountered could have been avoided if I had simply spent a minute peeking at the instructions that had come with my new name, rather than foolishly tossing them out with my old one.

My first problem arose when I opened up my Commander Pants email account. It seemed that my new moniker made my intended recipients – and their email programs – wonder whether I was a) spam, or b) a wannabe porn star. Either way, they wanted no part of me. My missives got the junk mail treatment left and right. Finally, in desperation, I changed my email to seapantz@gmail.com, naively thinking that this would put an end to my problems. And it did, until I ran into my next dilemma…

Alphabetizing. Where does a bookstore shelve Whom God Would Destroy, by Commander Pants? Personally, since I like to think of myself as Mr. C. Pants (hence my new email address), P was what I had assumed. But not so fast. I have actually found my book kibitzing with Michael Chabon more often than Phillip Pullman. To make matters worse, one day I even found it shooting the breeze with Oscar Wilde. (It seems that this particular shop thought that their customers would have an easier time finding my book by its title rather than its author.) This alphabet conundrum was still rearing its addled head when I ran into my next situation…

The case of mistaken identity. Half the people that I introduced myself to got it into their heads that I was Captain Underpants, leading them to believe that Whom God Would Destroy was some kind of children’s book. Hoo boy, were they disappointed when they cracked open the novel to find not only a cynical God here to goof on humanity, but also a quest for the Ultimate Orgasm!

Well, there you have it; the problems I’ve run into thus far with my newly adopted name. Please let my misadventures serve as a warning to you: choose your nom de plume with care; the experience can be fraught with peril. Oh sure, you can always opt for something safe like John Doe or Mark Twain, but if you feel like getting a bit more risqué, watch out!

GIVEAWAY

The Prize

A copy of this book will go to one lucky reader.

To Enter
Who’s most humorous or satarical author you’ve read so far? Recommendations with titles are what I’m looking for!

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Deadline   Midnight CST of December 18, 2009.

Eligibility  US and Canada only.

Please read the Disclaimer. Good luck!
Note – This book was received for review.
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